Tuesday, November 29, 2005

God spoke part 1

Something happened today. I sensed God's presence. Maybe that shouldn't seem strange, but I gotta be honest, it's been a while since that's happened. It's been rough recently, just figuring out where I stand, why we're in the place we're in, and through it all I've felt like God wasn't around. That's a pretty rough place to be. I've never been there like I was the last few weeks. I've prayed, yelled, cried, been in denial and nothing seemed to happen. Opportunities that seemed to be from God and answers to prayer have fallen through. What's going on?! Why?! It was about as close to rock bottom as I've felt, ever. Scary. So today, I'm driving in my truck listening to podcasts and then turned it off for a while to spend time with God, which has been kind of one-sided lately, and that's when it happened. I heard him. This is where it got unexpected, I felt like God was saying "You need to remember this time when things are going well."
It got me thinking. I've been in ministry for the last 7 and half years. I started working with students while I was still in college, a great opportunity just fell in my lap (God ordered my steps) at a time in my life where I wasn't walking with him, but he was still there for me. At every stage of my life since, he's been there providing an unbelievable wife, unbelievable family and tremendous ministry opportunities I would never have imagined. Literally just falling into my lap. Recently I was in California at an unbelievable church with tremendous leaders, students and a senior pastor who taught and released and supported. Then we felt like God was calling us to give it up and come to Charlotte to start a church. It was a huge leap for us. Everything to this point had just come to us, now we were stepping out taking a huge chance. Going on faith, something I was great at talking about, you know the lip service preacher talk on faith, but had never really had to live out. You know Indiana Jones stepping of the cliff kind of living it out. So everything actually goes well with the transition and move to NC, really well, God must be with us! Then everything comes to a screeching halt. The nails on the chalkboard kind of screeching, Lloyd's most annoying sound in the world kind of screeching...you get the idea. That's when it seemed like God was gone. Silence. Nothing. What happened? Life was perfect, I was on the fast track, I was going to have this successful church, reach the community, change lives, write books, be famous...you see where this is going?

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