God spoke part 2

Pride...the beast from within. It's been a part of my life forever. I had friends, did well in school, got complimented, accomplished goals, I was the man. Ministry was the same, I had success, started new programs, worked well in front of people, I was still the man, and I knew cause everything always just fell into place, without ever really trying. So I'm going to go launch this church, it'll rock, I'll be the church world superstar that I always knew I would be and then the flaming chariot will come down from heaven and me and Elijah will kick it. Till recently, remember that screeching halt? So that's when God spoke today. He said "Ben, remember this time when things are going good." I believe God has incredible plans in store, you know Ephesians 3.20 kind of stuff. But I realized if he just dropped in my lap again I'd never learn, my pride would take over and the long term issues would be devastating. How many people have been destroyed by pride? I've known this was an issue in my life for a long time, had gotten better, but deep inside I always knew how good I really was. I knew I was the man.
Till now. I've been humbled. Taken to the bottom. I never knew what this was like. I didn't understand brokenness. I didn't understand Job 1.21 before. Maybe I got a little bit better grasp now. It's not a vengeful or wrathful thing, although he's certainly capable of that, it's love, instruction, a needed kick in the anus. That's what I hear God say to me today. He's in control, not me, he makes it happen not me. I'm not all that, not even close. I'm just a poor schlub God has for some reason decided to use. He gives, he takes away. It's on his time. What was I thinking! That I deserved everything I wanted, right when I wanted it? I deserve hell. That's the bottom line. Harsh, but reality. So for those of you that know me, keep me accountable. When God starts releasing new blessings, I can't forget this lesson. It's gotta stay at the forefront. I've been to the bottom, God keeps me from going there again, if I let him, cause I can take myself right there again. I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm ecstatic to feel God's presence again. Yeah, God spoke man was it good to hear his voice again...